Anne Stevenson-Yang is the author of, most recently, “Wild Ride: A Short History of the Opening and Closing of the Chinese Economy.”

My husband, who was Chinese, died in October. On the anniversary of his death, our three children plan to carry half his ashes back to Beijing and bury them alongside his parents, as he wished. I, however, cannot go with them. The risk of being detained for months or years is just too high.